Jun 18 2008
When You Lost Your Dreams In The Rain
When you’re a little kid, you want to be a baseball player or a singer or an actress. After awhile, you start to realize that shit like that is not going to happen. You get to high school and some tall, lanky, creepin’ Jesus looking motherfucker throws you a curveball with 1-2 count and you jump out of the way only to have the pitch be called strike three. Or you can’t sing to save your life or your not good looking enough to be an actress.
The factof that matter is, eventually life will become a series of smaller and smaller dreams you fight like hell to protect. After you’ve let the big dreams go, you start to think on a smaller level and you can only hope something sticks. You get out of high school and twist and turn through college trying not to take classes you don’t even need. I know at some schools they hold your hand and make sure you only take what you need, but the SUNY/CUNY system is there to make straight cash, babay! I would sign up to take “New York City’s Role in the Revolutionary War” and find it it was totally useless for my major at the end of the semster. Whatever, I guess it was just as much my fault.
In college, you fucking sift through everything in hopes of finding something. I had no idea what I wanted after I finished at Purchase, so I put the real world on hold and went to grad school. It was easy to dress it up like, “Oh Sean is going on to get his Master’s in Liteerature! He really knows what he wants!” Yeah, I knew I didn’t want a fucking job. I continued to make cotton candy at Yankee Stadium and other sporting arenas throughout the country. You may ask yourself why they would fly our stupid asses to Vegas, Miami, Detroit and Atlanta just to make cotton candy. I’m not really sure, but I know we were good at it, pal.
After grad school, I was under the impression I could just become a college professor because I’m a fucking idiot. It turns out if you have a graduate degree, you can only teach at a two year school–which was fine with me. However, they all want experience and you can’t get any unless you’ve taught somewhere. I guess you could call it, “Getting the screwgie.” It seemed that would have to be another dream that would be fucking choked out of me by this hell sucking world.
I got that internship at the Daily News (which Tracey called “Your volunteer position at the Daily News” which drove me up a wall) and ended up getting a position (and no, it is not 69 with other dudes) at the News that paid me to come in everyday.
Everyday I would apply for teaching jobs I had no business applying for. SUNY Empire called me and the guy who interviewed me grew up in Riverdale so that helped me get the job. I got another job in January teaching English and Writing at the College of New Rochelle.
I want to teach English and Writing full-time as soon as possible. My point in writing this stupid shit, is to say even if you think you have no shot at getting something or some job, just fucking apply for it and do it anyway. Just fucking do it; don’t let these no good, rat, sons of a fuckhead keep you down!
This is America, babay! Love it or leave it!
Anarachy…Anarchy!
No blood for oil!
This blog is not anti-American….it’s anti-war!
How do you 69 with more than one dude at once?
I kind of meant that job or “position” would have me doing that all day. One dude at a time though.