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Dec 28 2008

Homeless

Published by seano47 at 8:11 pm under Living Edit This

In New York City there are alot of homeless people. Agreed? I just don’t want to go into this whole thing if you don’t agree with me on this. I mean it would be pointless if you read that first line and didn’t agree with me. But if we’re on the same page here, we can move forward on this. Okay…I’m going to go ahead and write.

Just like bugs and monsters, there are many different types of homeless people. I encountered my least favorite type of homeless person today going downtown on the 1 with Mike. I’m not sure where he got on but as soon as he got on the train, I knew we had a free radical on board. He was the type of homeless person that didn’t look homeless right away. He wasn’t all “Pigeon Lady” from Home Alone 2, ya know? Those types are easy to spot and usually keep to themselves; this guy was reading the Times. A lady with a carriage was getting off where he got on and that threw him off. He had trouble deciding which way to go to avoid walking into them (This doesn’t make you homeless or crazy because if it did I’d be sleeping on the steps of St Patrick’s and eating half-eaten Whoppers out of the garbage).

He sat down and opened up his paper (The paper was all over the road. It drives me crazy when someone doesn’t hold the paper correctly when they are reading it. Keep it tight.) After a few seconds, he began repeating the same word to himself. It was some word that started with a Z and he would get louder as he kept saying. He would read a few words from a page and at one point, he fell asleep for a few seconds. It was pretty clear that this guy could be pushed to the edge at any moment. When guys like that snap and decide this world is no longer of use to them, they seek out jerks like me to punish.

I’ll take the homeless person that smells like piss or the guy that warns you about the dracula aliens that are living in the Empire State Building any day of the week. At least I know what I’m getting with those types; the guy on the train today could have done anything. You can’t relax when you got that type of dude a few seats from you on a subway car. I’d rather have a guy wearing bags on his feet or socks on his hands tell me that penguins don’t have shadows than a well read, tightly wound bastard falling asleep for a few seconds at a time in between yelling fits. I like my homeless people to have been driven so mad by life on the streets that they no longer have anything to prove.

The homeless are like annoying children or pets; you can’t just murder them because someone is bound to get upset with you. We live in a crazy world

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134 Responses to “Homeless”

  1. # elaineon 29 Dec 2008 at 2:32 pm edit this

    I remember when I did the midnight run, all these people that didnt look homeless scurried out from nowhere the second we screamed “midnight run”. They were mad very picky too. One lady wouldn’t take the shoes I offered her, because she wanted them in purple.

    I hate purple and I hate people who like purple even more. Can you imagine how I feel about homeless people who love purple so much they would deny themselves shoes?

  2. # seano47on 30 Dec 2008 at 7:29 pm edit this

    Style is important.

  3. # serenalove2334299on 24 Feb 2009 at 12:46 am edit this

    I’m homeless and being homeless doesn’t make you a crazy person, I became homeless because my house burned down. I have two kids that are also homeless, does that make them crazy or open to being made fun of because of it?

  4. # seano47on 24 Feb 2009 at 11:49 am edit this

    I wasn’t being serious; if you are going to get offended by stuff you read on the internet you may want to just avoid it at all costs.

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