Dec 30 2008
Get Off Your High Horse Gucamole and Muffins
Gucamole and muffins are both grossly overpriced.
…and another thing about muffins, when you get a muffin somewhere just eat the fucking thing, okay? Lets not turn this into a whole thing over here. I understand that there are people that think they’re the only ones that eat the top first but get your head out of the clouds. Everyone does that shit. Muffins are really nothing more than miniature cakes; somewhere along the way they convinced people that they were good for them. They’re in the pastry family. You think because they have blueberries or carrot in them that they’re good for you? Come on, don’t be childish.Want to hear something scary? Most muffins have over 4,500 calories per serving. That is a fact; you cannot dispute that.
…and gucamole? You ever go to a Mexican restaurant and they ask you if you want gucamole with your chips? First of all, of course I fucking do. Everyone wants gucamole; at times it can be the single strongest force in the universe (Don’t question me on this one). So they wheel out some cart, carve up some avocado and other stuff and charge you $18. Don’t do that, okay? Don’t bother asking me if I want gucamole if you are going to hit me over the head for 18 pesos. People who really, really like gucamole tend to be boring and very talkative especially about their love of gucamole. AND ANOTHER THING!!!! Telling people you make really great gucamole as small talk at a party or something is as bad an offense as one can commit. In a world where so much is uncertain, do you honestly think anyone cares/believes even for a second that you can make gucamole?
When you think about it, I mean really take a step back and think about it, muffins and gucamole have caused as much trouble and strife in this world as anything else has. Maybe Obama will do something about this too.
Insane topic shift…
There is a store on First Ave called “Love Saves the Day” and it is closing. It was the kind of place that charged $50 for an Ultimate Warrior wrestling toy because he has on some limited edition trunks or something. They also had old postcards that people actually sent to other people, old packs of baseball cards and that type of stuff. I’m not going to get all “You can’t have anything nice” on you here but I would just like to say that I used to like that store quite abit and went there pretty often at a certain point in my life. It was a few stores down from the Pommes Frites place and we’d often to come all the way down from the Bronx just for the fries and we usually took a look in “Love Saves the Day”. Bon Voyage “Love Saves the Day” I’ll most likely never think about you again but don’t take it to heart.
Believe it or not, I have made guacamole. I only eat muffin tops.
My head is spinning after reading this post. But, I’ve decided to subscribe anyways.
czech out my other blog if you’d like http://notsoliteral.blogspot.com
So what do you just throw out the bottom of the muffin?
wow. great blog. first of all you are absolutely right about muffins and guacamole. as far as muffins go, i’ve learned to deal with this by altogether not eating them. or if i do decide to eat one, like you said, i treat it as a dessert. muffins have absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever. they’re bad for you. and they’re insanely expensive in new york city. however, there is no way i’m going to stop eating guacamole, it’s just too damn good and at least has nutritional value. avocados do have a lot of fat, but also vitamins and other good stuff. recently billy and i were at san loco. he got a taco. i wasn’t that hungry so i decided to get some chips and guac to share. the taco was like $4. the chips and guac were $9. beware if you go to El Sombrero and start drinking frozen margaritas and ordering chips and guacamole while watching a ball game, the bill will be way higher than you expect. now, as far as Love Saves The Day, i’m not going to get all nostalgic because i never bought any of that crap. but i did like to look at the $250 GI JOE figures and other stuff they had from our childhood in there. and that place certainly reminds me of that same time sean, the late 90s, getting some fries, looking in love saves the day. i especially think of you in that store. it’s too bad. just another weird thing in new york that will vanish. i went in the other day.
I also went in recently; the postcards were gone and that was my favorite part.
The late 90’s were a crazy time, bro.I admit it…I bought some of that crap.
I never knew the name of that store but I sure as hell miss that Pomme Frites spot. You know, I make really great guacamole.
Omigod! I also make GREAT guacamole. Well, it does help to live in avocado country. Essential ingredients for guac: Avocados, crushed fresh garlic, lemon or lime juice (fresh is better), and salt. Make your guac go further by putting chopped tomatoes in it. You can also add your favorite salsa for a kick or you can put mayo in it if you are a complete and total gringo (if you’re not sure about that, then if you answer TRUE to the statement “Hometown Buffet is my favorite restaurant,” then just add the mayo and skip the salsa). Some people like to add chopped raw onions but I am NOT one of those crunch raw onion people. Now, if you want to make a guacamole SALAD, add a can of corn or some fresh cilantro.
And about those muffins–you CANNOT categorize fiber packed muffins as “CAKE.” Therefore, I am disputing your statement that all muffins are puff pastry. If something is chock-full of fiber, has only 80 calories yet weighs half a pound, it’s going to make you run for the potty. This sort of muffin is practically medicinal. This sort of muffin ONLY has a bottom as it instinctively knows that muffin tops are for WIMPS. (But you’re right, people don’t enjoy muffin bottoms so much because they have been traumatized when they’ve accidentally ingested muffin papers which is as close to actual dietary fiber as some people ever get).