Jan 23 2009
The Next and Final Stop on This Train is You Are A Giant Asshole
Guinness Book World Record for being bitches
These six ladykillers that aspired to reach only the most honorable of goals by visiting every NYC subway station in under 26 hours (the old record held by scores of homeless people) are upset with the all the paperwork and redtape that is in involved with getting into the book. The jerk on the right with the Regis pullover said, “It’s a pain in the neck. We’ve had multiple calls go unreturned.”
Yeah, like the boys over at Guinness have been chomping at the bit waiting for someone to step in and take the “Ol New York City subway” record down. They got 9 foot Chinese guys knocking down their doors, 2 1/2 feet midgets running amok over at the water cooler, frogs the sizes of dimes jumping all over the office, a 153 year old monk from Tibet smoking ciggarettes in the lobby and a guy that eats cement mix for breakfast everyday. BUT STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES! Six guys that graduated from Regis rode the subway for a few hours!
I wonder how many peoples daily rountine got messed up because Brad, Rick, Curtis, Chad, Gary and Duncan got a bug up their ass to do some stupid shit. These guys brought bottled water, a change of socks and granola with them. Could you imagine getting onto a train and having to sit across from these smiling assholes changing their socks and sharing granola with eachother? There is no jury in this land that would convict anyone if they had murdered all six right there. Throw them a fucking parade, I say!
That’s not how this will end though. They will get into the book. The school will honor them and they’ll be on the news. It’s a sick world we live in where guys like this get away with what they’re getting away with. They took 546 pictures during the trip. Imagine being homeless, you’re on the train because its warm and Brad wants to take a picture of Gary and Duncan opening a bottle of champagne next to you? Jesus Christ. God help us.
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I posted this on myspace at the end of 2006 and ended up meeting some of these guys at a bar because they went to Regis with my cousin. They aren’t bad guys, I just get annoyed at the fact that they were so upset at Guiness for not dropping everything to get their little record in a book no one reads unless they’re in study hall in 6th grade.
Anyway, two party animals broke their record this morning…so their lives have no meaning once again. Here is the link to the story:
The story says they’re some kin dof math whizzes; I wonder if there is a math equation that can calculate that last time either of them saw a woman with her clothes off.
