areyoulistening

So another nutball that keeps animals that are supposed to live in the jungle as pets has to deal with some sort of tragedy. Shocking, huh? Apparently this chimp was some sort of actor and therefore better behaved than your average run of the mill chimp. Well, looks like he burst that little bubble–didn’t he? He went from a Shakespearen primate to a face eating monster pretty fucking quick.

People love to say “It’s not the animals fault” and I agree. This is clearly the woman’s fault on this one. She feed him fucking cheeseburgers and wine! She said that “Travis” had just finished his lunch of cheeseburgers, french fries and ice cream when she let him outside to play (Jesus Christ). Her friend pulled up and apparently had the color of her hair changed which we all know drives chimps bananas!!! So he flipped out and started eating her face.

The woman should serve time and there should be some serious punishments for keeping certain animals as pets. What are we going to do when they make dinosaurs again? What!?!?! There will be people with God damn raptors eating cheese and crackers in their basements. God forbid we ever tame aliens…I shudder to think what an alien will do if all he eats is Wendy’s baked potatoes.

In the end, Travis was shot dead and the woman is still alive but will be missing most of her face. The chimps owner said that he looked at her like, “Ma, what are you doing?” when she stabbed him. Are you serious, lady? Do you want to know what he was thinking? Nothing! He was in the middle of eating your friends face! He was most likely thinking the same things chimps have been thinking for thousands of fucking years! Nonsensical chimpanzee thoughts. Get a fucking goldfish next time, lady.