areyoulistening

Here are a few things that are true:

-Sarah Palin wrote an episode of Home Improvement in 1993

-Tony Hawk cannot pronouce the word “Foolishly”

-Kenny Loggins invented blogging

-FDR subscribed to the idea that aliens would take over the world in 1986…which they did not.

-Seafood is not actually food; its an illusion.

-Peanut butter generates electricity; which is why so many children lie about being alergic to it.

-The Detroit Tigers were going to be named the ”The Detroit Dudes”

-Women who play badminton are considered legally braindead 

-The Rolling Stones know its only rock and roll but they DON’T like it

This honestly makes me nervous.

I always hated Brooklyn. From what I could gather, it was where annoying people went to live out some annoying life that involved coffee shops, stupid ass beer and people with facial hair having sex with girls that were way out of their leagues. And you know what? That is a big part of it. It attracts the kind of person that would attempt to order 3 chicken wings and a glass of water at a bar having a 25 cent wing night (This really happened).  The bar has since made it a rule that you have to order at least 6 wings. I would have made it 10 but the people that own the place are being nice about it. You shouldn’t have to make such a rule but it is the kind of thing that has to be done when your patrons are borderline braindead.

I like living here; Greenpoint is great for making everyone that lives here feel like they live in a real neighborhood. I also like that I have to share the neighborhood with the kind of people that would do something like order 3 chicken wings at a wing special. Why would you feel that, Seano? I’ll tell you why; I seem to take pleasure out of being annoyed or feeling bad about stuff that is happening around me. Some of the most fun I’ve ever had is being away in Vegas or the shore and waking up the next day feeling hungover like a bitch and complaining about it with my friends. Its kind of funny. So when some dumb shit that looks like Al Pacino in Serpico walks into a bar and asks if the happy hour special is still going on at 11 pm on Saturday night in a bar that has a Big Buck Hunter video game and is blasting some awful fucking Elvis Costello song–I can’t help but laugh.

The type of person that would order 3 wings at a wing special night is the kind of person that brings a six pack of PBR to a party and drinks 11 of someone elses Corona, the kind of person that feels like the world is their ashtray, the type of asshole that rolls their own ciggarettes…you see, they are only rolling their own ciggarettes in hopes of finding a girl dumb enough to sleep with them for doing so and, as sick as it makes me, they will find said girl.

I guess this is the type of thing that happens in certain parts of Brooklyn with Greenpoint and Williamsburg being the main trouble spots. So I don’t want to lump all the other neighborhoods into this whole idea; I just want the asshole rolling a ciggarette in the corner, with a Fanta tee shirt and Expo hat on to go fuck themselves…thats all.